It was love at first sight.
The house was old, and huge, and apparently haunted according to the landlord and half the neighbours on the block. It was perfect.
Ann loved it right away.
She let herself in the front door and surveyed the goods. The long hallway opened into a ton of different rooms along the sides. On her right was a living room, cream coloured couches lined the far wall. An old TV set played reruns. It looked ordinary, really, and Ann found this just a bit disappointing.
That is, until the ghosts showed up.
They appeared gradually; a shift here, a shriek over there. A severed hand in the bathtub.
Soon the place was crowded with them, all shuffling zombies and dragging chains. Ann found the noise annoying at first, but after a while they became part of the house. Sometimes it's nice to come home to your own haunting orchestra of things that go bump in the night.
On weekdays, Ann would start her day stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom. The Headless Man would be there too, trying awkwardly to brush his teeth and balance his head on the counter at once, dripping blood on the tile.
"Sorry," he kept saying, "terribly sorry."
Ann mostly ignored him, she was too groggy in the mornings to make worthwhile conversation anyway.
The next ghost she usually saw was the Retired Football Player. Ann had guessed this, as the man didn't talk much. When she first encountered him, he had been in the living room, watching old football commentaries. His cracked helmet obscured his face.
Lately, "football guy" had taken to standing catatonic in the hallway. His large frame blocked her way to the kitchen so effectively that Ann usually had to resort to army-crawling between his legs.
He never seemed to notice.
In the kitchen, Madame Pontmercy bustled about, "cooking breakfast".
"Good morning, Dearie!" she would say, "would you care for some tea? Or perhaps eggs..."
She reached for the tea cupboard handle to but could never fully grasp it. In fact, it seemed as though Madame couldn't cook or clean a thing in the house, try as she did.
This confused Ann. If she could stand fine on solid ground, then couldn't the ghost also open cupboards? She couldn't bring herself to ask.
"Just a second, sweetheart," Madame would insist, "let me just... Oh bother!"
"How about I put the tea on today?" Ann would suggest, "maybe you could just sit on the couch?"
"Oh thank you, you're too sweet, I'll go get started on the dusting."
This happened every day, but Ann didn't really mind. It spiced things up, and she was sure the army-crawling was doing wonders for her fitness.
